Slip of the tongue

I can't think of something that has given me more of a laugh than the following email, just sent to me yesterday from my kids' school principal:

Dear Rush Parents,
 
Due to the construction of the walkway from our new building to the upper field the current access (on 150th Court NE & 150th Ave NE) from the backside to the upper walkway will be blocked off for the next month. We know this will cause some incontinence but it is unavoidable with the new construction. Thanks for your patience, flexibility, and understanding.
 
Sincerely,
 
Brad Stolz, Principal

Did you catch it? If not, you must read it again. And again. I thought my husband's laughter last night, after seeing this would wake the children.

Look at the Birdie

A few weeks ago, on a regular sunny :-) day (regular is being a bit sarcastic b/c where I live, sunny days aren't exactly the norm; but for two months of the year it is a pretty good bet there'll be sunshine during the day), I hurriedly began gathering swimming clothes for my children. I was also brushing my teeth.

We probably had 5-10 minutes to spare before we needed to leave. And, if you've ever loaded three children into a vehicle, you know how easily those minutes are gobbled up by twisted seat belts and car seat wars.

Anyway, as I opened the screen door to grab the swim stuff, I literally felt a swoosh of something go right above my head. That swoosh was a real, living bird.

Just to give you an idea of that day, here are a couple pictures:

So, I stepped outside to this:

This "clothes horse" - that is what my mom always called hers, was my best summer purchase of 2011. You can buy yours from Bed Bath and Beyond. You'll use it all the time, I promise. I mean all the time in the summer.

And was quickly greeted by the inhabitant partaking of seeds from here:

I can't remember when I bought this or from where. I think I bought the seeds from an Ace Hardware store. I actually consider the birds my "pets". I feed them and watch them fly away. I like to try and figure out how they sing. Do birds have vocal chords?

As you can well imagine, with toothpaste in my mouth, I was a bit freaked out. Luckily, my kids - who were playing in the other room, didn't seem to be phased by my telling them there was a bird in our house (I guess with my toothpasted-voice, they couldn't understand me). I raced back to my room to spit out the awesome toothpaste (doesn't that make this story even better?) and then started closing doors, imagining myself swinging a broom around the house trying to get that little bird out.

By this time, the kids caught on to what I was doing, but they couldn't see the bird. It was behind the couch near our big picture windows. I was also imaginging all kinds of bird poop on my furniture and floors. They didn't seem nervous and I promise I tried to be calm.

By all instances of luck, that little bird went from our picture windows, flew a little ways and then went out the same we she came in. Weirdest thing ever.

My Hair

Today's funny was when I sat in church and a friend walked by me and said, "That color looks really good on you, I like your hair coloring."

Funny thing is that my hair today is the same as my hair two weeks ago (when I was last in attendance at church), as well as the same as seven years ago when I met this friend, AS WELL AS 17 years ago when I was, um let me do the math quick - 17 years old. I've never dyed my hair, but maybe I will soon.



Daddy's Homecoming

The other day, as I was "Momming" around town, I saw a young boy, perhaps 12 years old running around the corner, with a car that was turning the same corner. The boy was so happy, with a big grin on his face. I added my own story to his scene. I thought, "He must be racing to meet his dad after work."

While I never really referred to my dad as "Daddy", when I looked like this:

No need to crop this picture right? All of the extra details make for fun memories

 I did race to meet my dad every day after work, particularly in the summers when he worked for a large school district about 45 minutes north of my house. He taught drivers' ed and for this particular job, he had a very regular schedule. We could always count on seeing him come around the corner, just past Pete Henderson's. He drove a little green Isuzu that once belonged to my uncle Heber. I remember feeling like a "tv kid" because my dad would come home at the same time every day in the summers (during the school years, his homecoming was all over the place). When I say "tv kid" I mean that I often pretended to be one of the little girls on some of our favorite television shows: Cosby, Growing Pains, Who's the Boss, Punky Brewster, Charles in Charge, etc. and those girls always seemed to have a perfect, regular, predictable life.

Oh wait -- didn't I?

Ha haa ha -- it wasn't perfect but perfect for me :-)

Another reason this "memory" came to mind is because I read an article in my local newspaper about a drivers' ed instructor who taught for 44 years. I enjoyed the article. What a good guy: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/dannywestneat/2018743089_danny22.html

Older than the hills

I'm sure you've all got stuff lying around that should have been thrown out a long time ago. Do you remember the kinds of head phones we wore as teenagers on the school bus thinking we were all that?

Today, my children and I were racing out the door to violin lesson. I had the grand idea to grab my laptop so my son could play some games during the hour-long lesson. Oh, and he would need headphones. We actually have little ear buds all over the place, but I couldn't think about that at a time like this, so I just grabbed the nearest thing - my husband's old, very old headphones.

As you can see, I really want you to have the picture in your head of these headphones. This story isn't even that funny, but when I told my husband about it tonight, we did one of those laughing-so-hard-no-sound comes out kind of thing.
As I pulled the headphones out of my computer bag to hand to my son, noticed crumbly black stuff was coming off in my hand like crazy. I wiped the black crumbles away quickly before the violin teacher might notice. The computer was on a little table and my son happily put the headphones on him and was content throughout the lesson. When I peeped over at him halfway, he had black foam crumbles all over his cheeks and shirt. The headphones were shedding. It was quite a sight. There was black crumbly stuff on the floor (I did manage to pick up the bigger pieces to throw away). Anyway, I wish I could have snapped a picture of my son, with a black beard of headphone foam. Then I know you'd laugh.

He didn't have a clue, by the way.