Church-related humor

My son is almost twelve years old. We had a discussion the other day about what happens when a young man turns twelve who is active in our church, which is that he will be given the priesthood and be able to join a peer group from church called, "deacons". This is fairly familiar to him as he watches the deacons every week, administering the sacrament at church and now his closest friends are turning twelve.

I haven't talked with him much about the girls his age, meaning what groups they join upon turning twelve. So, the other day, I mentioned his friends would be joining the "beehives" church. His reaction was very funny. His eyes got big as he quickly answered, "Why beehives? Is it because they sting you and buzz in your ears?"

I've not considered this angle of the group named, "beehives" at church. In fifth grade, he observed the girls were very bossy, in fact once he said, "I don't ever want to marry one of those pesky girls." Now in sixth grade, he is having more of a mixed experience where he does still see some "won't even consider my input" girls but he has also mentioned that the girls are actually kind of nice :-).

The other "church" funny I want to remember is from the day we visited Grandma's ward in Idaho Falls. The song that was sung partway through the meeting was, "Master the Tempest is Raging" which I quite like. It talks about how Jesus Christ can both calm the literal storms of life and the figurative storms in our lives. When I mentioned that I really liked this song,  he replied, "So, did you sing this at your wedding?" 

Can you imagine? I hope Darren didn't think of that day as a raging tempest -- hee hee.

My Blue-Eyed Screamer

"Townsperson" in church Christmas program, watch for
photobombing brother in background

My little blue-eyed girl has caused me pause to smile a number of times recently so I just must write about her today.











She is my Christmas girl. She had her calendar on December all of 2014. I noticed, she already had December 2015 up this year :-). She begins counting the days very early.

She loves kittens too

About a month ago, we proposed an idea to the kids that if Christmas could be smaller (in numbers of presents), we could drive to Idaho for our "main" gift. Our son immediately wanted, "all in, 100% yes". Our older daughter needed some time to think it over, but after two days she said, "I'm 75% yes" soon after becoming a 100% yes.

Our blue-eyed wonder, though? Well, she was pretty emphatic from the start saying, "No. I want presents. Christmas needs to be here in Redmond."

Later, we decided it would be fun to surprise the kids with "tickets" to Idaho on Christmas Day, thus fulfilling everyone's wish.

Darren went all-out on designing really fun "Moss Train Express" tickets using a laser printer from work. He printed it on plastic, which is beyond my technological scope. Anyway, one of the tickets (to our daughter) said, "You and a sister of your choice are invited to board the Moss Idaho Express tomorrow morning at 5 am, meet on platform 9 3/4 (reference to Harry Potter, which has been all the rage since reading it as a family in July). Our son's ticket said that he and the father of his choice were invited to board the train. I then asked, (the wording on the tickets was a surprise to me as well), "Am I invited?". To this I learned, not only was I invited but I was the conductor!!

Opening these tickets was great fun. Daughter Numero Uno was jumping around the room and our son just kept saying, "Really?" or "Are we really going to Idaho?" I guess our youngest was OK with it all because she tagged right along.

I'll save the Idaho Fun for another post, but in the meantime, watch out for a striped-out-smiler in your neighborhood. She's a keeper!



She is very insistent that this totally matches

Purple Socks - Not Negotiable

We are having major outfit issues around here. My oldest daughter has always been an outfit-changer. This past year, her big thing has been to wear two long French braids. Every. Single. Day. I sometimes wake to see a big brush in my face and my sweet daughter asking if I can braid her hair yet.

Her other issue, since the weather changed from sunny 70s and 80s to cooler 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s (she checks the temperature every day - not that is matters much, she still wears the same thing), is to wear leggings every day with long designed socks (up to her knees).

None of this so far, has much to do with my impatience. At least, not on violin concert night. My main issue that night was that she had a dress code to follow: white on top, dark on bottom and that she has told me she was playing "first position" violin. I don't really know what that means but I wondered if that meant she would be playing in a position that was more visible.

Last Monday night, my daughter had just finished gymnastics. She had about twenty five minute in which to eat dinner and get ready for violin concert (orchestra - 5th grade group). The dress code wasn't the problem, however, the white shirt she chose was about four sizes too small. I mean, skin tight, tourniquet sleeve-affect in her armpits, and I haven't even gotten to her wild hair.

I didn't have time to fight her but I resolutely told her (she was so excited to have found a white shirt, she had spent ten minutes looking for just the right one), "No, you can't wear that one."

Immediate tears.
Nonstop crying.
She began issuing threats of "I'm not going then".

And, I still haven't even mentioned the hair - which was like a halo of fuzz.

I grabbed the shirt and everyone got in the car (sometimes, I am amazed that the kids actually get in the car, even amidst a war going on between mother/daughter. It just seems like they would be frightened to go anywhere with their beast of a mother. Either that, or why don't they just refuse to go when I obviously have no idea how to parent?).

We were over halfway to the school, when the right shirt was put on (one that I found within a minute of looking in her closet). Oh, and did I mention that I also grabbed a brush and told her we would be re-doing her hair? Well, I did, and she let me know she was not going to be having her hair done again.

Another point to mention, when I did tell her she needed her hair re-done and that the first shirt she'd chosen was way too small, I'd also asked her where she would be sitting in the orchestra. Her answer, "the back".

Well, we got to the concert in time for warm-ups and quickly learned her seat was exactly front and center. She happily skipped up there and it wasn't five minutes before she was back down with me saying, "Mom, will you redo my braids?" We quickly headed over to a more secluded area and I whipped those two braids back into presentable shape. I asked her what made her change her mind, this was her reply:

 "Sadie looked at me and said, "Whoa! What happened to your hair?"

I am grateful for honest friends :-).

Purple socks: non-negotiable

Skelly

Happy Halloween!!

We have had a lot of fun around here with "Skelly". Some people do a tradition around Christmas where they hide an elf each night. In the morning, the family gets to see what kind of trouble the elf got into.

I wasn't trying to copy that tradition, but it kind of became something like that. Skelly has scared me on more than one occasion and I would be lying if I said I wouldn't mind keeping her around year-round :-).

Here are some of the things Skelly has been up to (I think my son christened the skeleton with such an endearing name).

Skelly needs some meat on those bones -- brrr

Found a Friend

I'm surprised she didn't have nightmares

Why not?

Just catching up on the latest Harry Potter

Skelly just seemed like one of the family with that sweatshirt

Taking a Ride

This one scared me the most

One more for you - this one was the first trick Skelly pulled.

Darren's latest sleeping station

To round out our Halloween fun and funny. Let's do some more :-). Last weekend was our ward's trunk or treat, which happened to be right after the girls' violin recital. My oldest daughter changed her mind about three times regarding costumes. Needless to say, what she wore out of the house was not what she wore at the violin recital :-( and that changed again for the trunk or treat.

My neighbor did an amazing job on my little butterfly's eyes. My son thriftily pulled together an outfit from home as he did not want to spend any money.

too legit to quit

Miracle of kids growing up - being able to clean out their own pumpkin guts, yes!!

Can you find the butterfly? What about the braided one in back :-)

Monkey /See/ Monkey Do

The other day I got so into my "Mommy gets things done" mode that I didn't really think about the consequences of my actions. I remembered to write an email to a teacher at my son's middle school (whom I've never met, fortunately). The fact that my computer keyboard had a /c/ malfunction posed no problem to me, I just didn't think it would be a big deal.

It was later in the day that I realized the full scope of my choices. Read on and please still be my friend and say hi ....

Copy of email sent to teacher (I must have looked like a bumbling idiot to her):

Ms. Folkman,

 

Please exuse my typing (first off), my /see/ is not working.  My hild is in the 6th grade at Rose Hill. I would love to see him participate in the math lub. His name is arson Moss (imagine a /see/ in front of this name).

 

I am having difficulty arranging pikup for him at 4. I am wondering if you are allowed to give out a list of other kids in the lub so I an possibly arrange a arpool.

 

Sorry again for my keyboard,

 

olette Moss (again, imagine a /see/ in front)

 

 

When my sisters got wind of this email, we all laughed heartily the rest of the evening. Marci had been cleaning out her freezer that had about 5 inches of ice buildup (when she read the email, she claimed to have laughed so hysterically she fell back into the frozen meat). Melissa read the email in Target while shopping for sunglasses (I think) after having cut and organized 2727 box tops for her school. Janie said she was snort-laughing. My mom messaged me very late in the day saying, "Are you for real?" As though maybe she was considering trading me in for a different daughter . . .

 

All in all, laughing is good medicine right? Maybe next time it can be someone else's keyboard malfunction.