This one has been waiting in the blog "dock" for some time now, the problem being that I haven't felt particularly humored by it in the first place. However, my friend got me laughing about this so much that I just have to post it.
I will go through time backwards so you'll read this post and then need to re-read it so everything will make sense.
The other night, I got to have dinner with some friends and on the way to the restaurant the general bantering of our children went on for a few minutes. I casually gave my prediction of my youngest daughter's social life as a teenager (she is only four).
"She is the best hugger and can easily get people wrapped around her feminine little fingers. She'll get a guy on her devious little hook. He'll buy her all kinds of goodies and when she gets tired of him, she will crush him."
My friend chimed right in, "We know. We found out when your family sang in church. She looked around the congregation and individually crushed each one of us."
(Her comment is what brought on my laughing, belly laughing over the whole incident - and thus the swapasmile post).
Going back about six weeks, my little family - my children and I -- performed a musical number in Sacrament Meeting of our regular 3-block church time. I know we were quite the spectacle, which is why I have pushed it back in my mind and memory.
Two weeks prior, we got a "friendly" call from Sister So-and-So asking if we, I mean they could present the song, "I Lived in Heaven a Long Time Ago". I confidently assured her that my children would be happy to do so.
I immediately enlisted the help of a talented musician in the ward who might be able to help jazz up the song a bit so that my amateur musicians might be able to perform it. With two children playing the violin and one son willing to put himself out there for just about anything, I thought it would be a snap. I was SO. Very. Wrong.
The Talented Musician gave me three ideas of ways to perform the primary song. I immediately went to task teaching, cajoling the children for practicing this pieace. Let me remind you of my timetable -- TWO WEEKS. My youngest daughter immediately said, "Nope - I'm not going up there." My other children were OK with it. My daughter - the oldest - made such a valiant effort to learn the piece. My son gave me heartburn every time we tried to practice. His ideas were different than mine.
When The Talented Musician :-) agreed to accompany us on the piano, she suggested I sing with the kids, to which I replied, "No, they will be abe to do it." (I was secretly thinking, "there is no way I am going up there). She also suggested that since the youngest wouldn't play her violin, she could at least just hold a picture of Jesus Christ. I thought, "yeh, that could work".
Saturday morning, the day before the performance arrived and we were all (The Talented Musician, myself, three "happy" children, and a very nice violinist/techy guy in the ward) at the church building for a rehearsal. It did not go well. I knew, then and there, that I would need to get up on that stand and sing the song.
I don't think I have ever truly felt like I was going to throw up at the thought/idea of performing (my only comparison is high school track - the state track meet ---agghh). I called The Talented Musician and said, "I need a pep talk, I am really nervous about this." Of course, she reassured me and told me to just sing right in my son's ear and no one else would hear me (I don't sing soprano - let's cut to the chase here).
Fast forward to the Sunday performance: we went up there, all four of us. My violin-playing daughter, the happy one, sang her little heart out as though she were Carrie Underwood herself (our performance included one verse of all of us just singing and then two verses of just two of us singing while the other played the violin - the youngest child was the wild card who was supposed to chime in whenever she pleased and hold up a picture of The Savior, who Himself must have gotten a real kick out of this whole ordeal).
I kept my son in tune with the piano and violin (which is MUCH harder than I ever thought it would be - to help a child do this) and fidgeted with the picture the youngest was supposed to be holding up, all while singing with a smile on my face.
Believe me, there was no faking the HUGE sigh of relief I gave when that was over.
I later found out that my sweet, little, "Best Hugger" daughter, stood up there and scowled the entire time. She didn't crack a smile.
Now you know why I have kept this under wraps. I think I am getting nervous hives just remembering it all.
Missy
Just a quick funny that keeps making me smile.
My youngest daughter is extremely head strong, which surprises anyone outside of this house because she generally whispers, if she'll talk to you (and if you are a boy, you won't even get a whisper).
She is definitely my least obedient child. One night recently, she was in and out of bed about five times and I lost my groove by the last time. I picked her up and plopped her back on her bed and said, in a not-so-nice voice, "You better stay in bed missy."
Her response, with gritted teeth, "Don't call me missy."
My youngest daughter is extremely head strong, which surprises anyone outside of this house because she generally whispers, if she'll talk to you (and if you are a boy, you won't even get a whisper).
Her response, with gritted teeth, "Don't call me missy."
The Apology
Yesterday my son hit my oldest daughter, not hard enough to make her cry but I did get wind of "the hit" and wanted to make sure he understands that our family doesn't hit (this would be my 100th attempt to help him understand that, by the way).
I told him he couldn't have any screen privileges until he wrote an apology to her.
Today, he was reminded of his punishment, so he reluctantly went to work. I was in the kitchen washing dishes and kept hearing giggles. I wondered what in the world he was up to and would soon find out.
Go ahead and read his apology note and see if you can guess who is inspirator was:
In case you aren't "up" on your Anne of Green Gables literature, he has pretty closely copied Anne Shirley's apology to Rachel Lynde when she (Anne) called Rachel fat. My son even got down on his knee to read his apology to his sister. I was busting up, I didn't realize how closely he was following the book I am reading to his sisters..
May your apologies this week be sincere.
I told him he couldn't have any screen privileges until he wrote an apology to her.
Today, he was reminded of his punishment, so he reluctantly went to work. I was in the kitchen washing dishes and kept hearing giggles. I wondered what in the world he was up to and would soon find out.
Go ahead and read his apology note and see if you can guess who is inspirator was:
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May your apologies this week be sincere.
Actually, I like food
Today was Fast Sunday. I generally fast and sometimes my oldest child does as well. Last night I let the kids know I was fasting and the older two children said they wanted to fast as well. My youngest was quick to let us know:
"I am not fasting. I like food actually. I love it."
Pause
She said this so matter-of-factly as though she is the only person in the world who could like food. My other two children piped in to let me know that they also liked food. It was all such a funny conversation as realization set in upon the older children. It was as though I could see the wheels turning, "do I like food?"
Do you have any funny fasting stories to tell?
"I am not fasting. I like food actually. I love it."
Pause
She said this so matter-of-factly as though she is the only person in the world who could like food. My other two children piped in to let me know that they also liked food. It was all such a funny conversation as realization set in upon the older children. It was as though I could see the wheels turning, "do I like food?"
Do you have any funny fasting stories to tell?
Bloody Nose
I just posted this whole story on facebook, but today it strikes me as really funny and I keep giggling about my children, so I will post it on here for long-term use/keepsake.
Last night, my girls were examining a new Christmas toy of my 7 year-old (that just arrived yesterday -- this will be the last time I count on Amazon.com for prompt delivery at Christmas-time, this took easily ten days and I just can't endure that kind of customer service in this day and age -- ha ha, what a brat I've become). The 7 yo was taking possession of said toy (a pogo ball -- remember how fun those were? Back in "my" day, we use to rub skin off the insides of our feet from jumping with pogo balls so much)
Anyway, I left the room when they were simply arguing, but as can be predicted, things escalated immediately and I heard the 7 yo shrieking - the kind of cry that let me know she was actually hurt.
I ran to her rescue and spent the next 20 minutes or so stopping the bloody nose, cleaning up after bloody nose, and wishing I had put the kids to be an hour ago.
I told the 4 year old that she was to go to bed now and that she'd get her punishment tomorrow (I also told the 7 yo, she would be deciding the punishment - with my help, heh heh).
Fast forward to today, I put this on facebook and got a bunch of responses:
Last night, my girls were examining a new Christmas toy of my 7 year-old (that just arrived yesterday -- this will be the last time I count on Amazon.com for prompt delivery at Christmas-time, this took easily ten days and I just can't endure that kind of customer service in this day and age -- ha ha, what a brat I've become). The 7 yo was taking possession of said toy (a pogo ball -- remember how fun those were? Back in "my" day, we use to rub skin off the insides of our feet from jumping with pogo balls so much)
Anyway, I left the room when they were simply arguing, but as can be predicted, things escalated immediately and I heard the 7 yo shrieking - the kind of cry that let me know she was actually hurt.
I ran to her rescue and spent the next 20 minutes or so stopping the bloody nose, cleaning up after bloody nose, and wishing I had put the kids to be an hour ago.
I told the 4 year old that she was to go to bed now and that she'd get her punishment tomorrow (I also told the 7 yo, she would be deciding the punishment - with my help, heh heh).
Fast forward to today, I put this on facebook and got a bunch of responses:
Last night 4 yo socked 7 yo in nose, I deferred punishment while cleaning/stopping blood -- punishment still deferred, how would YOU handle this?
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